Medicinalmeadows

THE PLACE WITHIN

Tag Archives: soul


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Solar heat at 49

In my 49 life I am I am experiencing anxiety. This anxiety and me have a history coupled with PTSD. Recently I don’t always know what my physical body is telling me. A mix of anxiety, grief, overwhelm and menopause. This is my story from this week.

I was setting off in the car to visit a relative in hospital. I got into the car, the temperature read 38 degrees, I felt sick, hot, was it just heat? was it a hot flush? or was it anxiety! My thoughts jumped from one to the other, the truth of it ( which came later) was that my body had remembered something.

I needed to get out of the car and feeling like a failure and disappointed at letting others down I had to just stop and “Get out of the car”! Soon after as I cooled down I realised that I know this feeling, this reaction, it is when the body remembers. It is remembering a date, a past situation or a trauma. My body was not only messaging me to take a break but signalling patterns into my awareness. The body remembers dates, places, and the places can reignite triggers and the triggers can “fire up” to remind us that something from the past needs attention. Just like a fire starting in the shadows of our internal cave growing stronger so we go back, look, witness that situation again. The “issue” is that it comes up uninvited, unawares but the body has this internal storage that seems to just remember without the mind being involved.

As I uncoiled just enough for me to remember and figure this all out. I can give myself a break.  At this time of 49 I am considering that these “anxious” remembrances or triggers are relating to the menopausal symptom called hot flushes. They are literally fired up in my face. The date of my “heatwave anxiety” corresponded to a past trauma that my mind had not acknowledged. My mind hadn’t connected to the date and place but the body did.

So what is a hot flush? At the time of a surge, are we actually in the spiritual sense going through a fiery upgrade?  Are we actually re-membering ourselves? By that I do mean collecting our bones, our divided parts, which have been lost over time. Are we pulling ourselves back together in a newly fashioned way, a mature way?

To me this was a good reminder that my mind may think it is taking the lead with the logical stuff but my body is attuned to all that has been and will continue to message me from spiritual to physical body as I go forwards. In the wise words of Caroline Myss, the greatest power we have within us is the position we energetically hold as our power station, the solar plexus. This is the intuitive energy centre that messages us from “gut instinct”, or intuitiveness. We all have the ability to connect to the gut instinct and sometimes this power centre messages us in stronger ways. Is the menopause really a firing up of the solar plexus, our solar energy? Is the gut instinct being attuned? This chakra centre as it is known is after all the centre of our personal power, the seat of our inner compass. If I am actually having a solar upgrade then surely this is a positive thing for my mature years ahead!

Maybe, just maybe what is occurring in my menopause years is a gathering of my inner ability to discern all around me to assert my personal power. If this is the metaphysical change to the wise elder, then baptism by heat to burn away the old and transition into a new relationship with selfhood is what is occurring. The soul lesson is forging our life force, literally by forge or force, or both, a consolidating of past and present as our personal identity in full acceptance. Maybe I need to remember that it is my shadow and my light that make Gold.


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The Serendipity of the Soul…

Inner Landscape of the Multi-dimensional Soul…..

The inner landscape is healing with an integration of sorts. It comes in the form of a wound, an old wound that re-opens. Some say it is where the light comes in, it feels more like the reveal of the source of the wound. The serendipity.

This healing and I use the term loosely, is like a flash of realisation. It is a secret exposed with some shock and flatly deposited in the lap so it can not be missed. It is a “postcard” from the soul delivering what we had previously separated from ourselves and now it is the messenger for the integration to occur. Hold it, yes pick it up, look at it with a new perspective. Give it all the medicine you can. It was always a part of you, not apart from you. The integration is the acceptance of not who you are today but how magical you have become.

In turning the wheel of change within, exposing you beyond your boundaries you come back to yourself and hold tightly that which is transformative. As you are your Grandmother spirit in time. This is your spin around the wheel to integrate the realms of all you are. You are a soul on a mission to integrate.

Image My Own


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The Forest….Part 2 The story continues…..

I hear voices and look skyward. The light through the leaves streams yellow into my vision. I squint, the hiss of the rain has stopped. I hear birds and movement from a subtle breeze waffling the greenery. The path I came along is adjacent to a banking of terraced trees. In the darkness it looked dense and dark. In the skimming light I can now see the boarder of the trees at a high level.

“Maybe there is a wall under the foliage? I definitely hear sounds, speech or breeze? I don’t know.”

I am unable to move without pain. My feet feel as if all circulating blood had been replaced by ice. I wriggle my toes stabbing axon to axon. Cold wet and fragile, I move, yes… I move one foot with a pained gasp, my lips splutters the wetness out into the air from my soaked face. A deep inhale and the other foot is free. I flip sideways to a more solid area of grown grass. My thighs ache into my knees and this sudden movement races into my pelvis shooting metal rods into my hips. I stop, stand and bend the knees and then straighten completely to free the cramped joints.

“Do they know I’m down here are they coming to rescue me?”

I stand for what seems like an hour. I have no way of knowing how long I have been ridged into this mud. Now more alert, I have kick started a powerful force of adrenaline which now arrows through my veins. My mouth wet, now dry, tongue engorged, lips pitted and crack, I taste blood.

I’m alert, my senses have gone from exhaustion to hypersensitivity, now a different trembling is upon my muscles. There is a loud drumming in my ears, percussion on my chest wall. My eyes now are failing to see through light and give false double images, I try to blinking rapidly to regain my sight. My wet skin now pins as pores heat up the more I move. I feel my bare feet change to full dexterity but I stumble. The forest floor feels like pine needles that stab into the soles of my waking feet. The smell is becoming overpowering as if someone has thrown a damp pine branch onto a fire and the scent is carried into my brain and my nose is aching all the way through into my sinuses with the pungent poison.

I hurry, bent over, scurrying, up ahead I see a shed,

“I know this forest” and without hesitation I heavily fist the latch and shove the door open.

One room, one single room inside, one table one chair. There is a blanket on the chair as if left just for me. Someone… knew…. I was coming.


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Self-Care September

I feel the energies of this month are reminding us to take time, however short, to create space for self care. I am reminded of  small acts of self-nurturing. Imagine a quiet space to have a cup of tea, to come back to centre, back home to oneself and just breathe into the moment, hand on heart.

It takes time and effort for self-loving rituals in daily living, but these small concessions can give great meaning to our Soul. These moments we grant ourselves can create deep listening into our Heart. The sacred part of ourselves where dreams are made, nurtured and explored into reality.

The challenge I suppose is to carve out a place to allow the magic of dreaming to unfold a little more everyday and to sit within, silencing the headspace, and to sit a little longer and listen. Ask for a dream to come a little brighter, what is the dream your Soul is asking you to see?


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July Discoveries

 

Firstly I want to tell you a little about my Oscar. My Oscar cat, passed away on the 10th July. He was 20 years old and was the best companion. We fostered Oscar after he had a traumatic experience, we are not sure of the story here, but he came to us with half a tail. He was a little timid, very particular and extremely welcoming. He gave us great joy and I am thankful for having him with us for so long.

 

I have been reminiscing with gratefulness and with a little help from the book “The Secret” I started to put together a vision board. Now, I am no expert, this is the first time I have taken on the task of pritt-sticking my joy, and I am not claiming I have got it. I have a work in progress.  In searching for the visible reminders of that place called joy my realisation is that the first picture is not always the right one. Those images in the mind are not always so easy to replicate in form. Like in life, much searching is required to gain the true meaning, to create THAT feeling. I am willing to see where this takes me and to see how my vision board develops.

So onto the book, Uncharted: The Journey Through Uncertainty to Infinite Possibility by Colette Baron-Reid. Now this book had me dipping in and out for some insights. This book is an introduction to what Colette Baron-Reid describes as the Map of the Soul. It is a basic opening to Carl Jung, the Divine Matrix and Universal Laws. The book includes exercises and meditations and the chapters are separated into Realms. So the Map of the Soul “has five interconnected realms. The Realm of the Spirit is the centre hub that transcends and infuses the other four realms – Mind, Light, Energy and Form”. For example, the chapter that I found most useful was the Realm of Light, or more commonly referred to as Shadow Work.  It is described in terms of switching the light on rather than looking into the Shadow. This chapter softly talks through the Golden Shadow and the “treasures” that can be found, as well as releasing qualities and memories that no longer serve us. I was impressed how nurturing the manner in which this chapter comes across and the meditations in my experience were effective. These exercises are very descriptive so before you begin there is a sense of purposeful steps in place so it feels safe and methodical to enter in.

I pre-ordered the book and it came with access to a series of videos after I submitted a copy of my Amazon receipt online. The videos are interviews with HayHouse authors and were very informative. Colette also created a Facebook community to support the readers and this is an ongoing forum for anyone who purchases the book. I think this has changed the way Spiritual authors now approach book sales as others have followed on from this idea such as Kyle Gray and Michael Dooley. So if you are wanting a Beach read then this is not it! The advice I would give is don’t try to Eat and Elephant in one sitting, this book requires some reflection, and there were even field notes, templates and journaling prompts that came with the video downloads now available through the Uncharted Book Club FB page.

Onto the Crystal of the Month. I purchased this lovely from Philip Permutt, The Crystal Healer. It is a Chrysocolla ball. It is known as the stone of communication.  It has a wonderful quality for clarity to be realised and wisdom to be expressed. It has a healing and harmonious energy which alleviates nervousness and creates serenity. I was looking for a crystal that would resonate with an image of wholeness and connection for Distance Reiki. I think I found it. I love that Chrysocolla not only has a great connection for communication but to me it looks like Planet Earth.

 


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Here and Now

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My town and its surrounding areas have been plagued by floods this winter. Movement from town to town is restricted as rainfall causes problems to roads, cars, and rail travel. It seems to be raining for a season. My recollection of previous winters has been cold mornings with frost covered lawns and a wind that slaps your face with a chilling sting. If wet, lingering rain and floods are to be our depths of winter then we are certainly not prepared. The ground is not prepared as no drainage is available and waterways are not viable. The foliage is not resting as trees and flora remain green. I wonder what fauna make of all this weather? What effect is this environmental change having on the animal life?

robinIn our current ways of living we know the effects of stress, lack of sleep and tiredness. Will the earth rest less, will wildlife struggle to maintain their habitats? And will spring come with a leap, or will lethargy remain in all things. I dearly hope that with the return of the early sunrise and brighter skies the earth will regain its step, light will rekindle all souls and rhythm will balance once more.

As we toast to the New Year may we collectively think of all Autumnleaves
those effected by weather change and displacement. So as the clocks chime to the start 2016 may we all think of those working, volunteering and coping. May all our hearts send goodwill to all people and to our home this planet we share, call earth.

For WPC: Now