Medicinalmeadows

the place within…..


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The Conscious Gardener

Today has been a time to reflect, rewind and recharge, a Happy Sunday.
The conscious gardener has been a message arising to look closely at what is growing. To discern the things coming together and building the future. It has been a time to reflect on what is growing, what is needed, what was planted and what has out grown. To tend to the weeds not required and focus, align and streamline the things I wish to grow and nurture. How does your garden grow?
#guidance #intuitive #spiritualcoaching #bluebells #meditation #mindfulness #gardening #meadowflowers #mayfield #wildflowers


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Conception of Guidance

Conception of Guidance

In the free dictionary the word Conceive means to“ form a mental image of something “. We must conceive of a multitude of things in a lifetime. We conceive ideas, plans, and processes. We also conceive all our thoughts and emotions. And so this leads me to consider that I have conceive myself to be anxious. This is a prospect I am learning to come to terms with. If allowing myself to feel anxious, when I am not in any imminent danger, I am robbing myself of inner peace? Could I be feeling free of anxiety? I have been on a spiritual journey since childhood. I grew up in fields and amongst the tress in a small rural area. I was aware of the spirit of the land and nature from a young age. A counsellor once called me a feral child having had no adult influential learning to model discernment for boundaries. Maybe she was right, but in recent times I have come to the realisation that boundaries are not always cultivated by adults around us in our informative years. Then there is the spiritual path, the awareness of the otherly, the unseen, the imaginal, that can actually provide a level of awareness of boundaries.

My perspective is that we all have a Guardian, a spiritual guide and when we allow, really surrender and allow the connection then the guidance is quite profound and present in the everyday. Many shamanic teachers describe an awareness within dimensions of the underworld, the middle-world and the upper-world. The middle-world being the here and now. Whether we identify with a physical knowing, a third eye inner vision of knowing or a deep listening to higher knowing, this is the guidance of the Guardian or Guide. When we have deep faith in this connection and relationship that is when the boundaries of the unseen can come to give discernment and assistance in this middle-world. Many spiritual paths have this unseen understanding, whether we call it the Nous like the Teachings of Mary Magdalene, the Spirit Guide, or the Guardian, the names are not so important as the faith that we are not navigating life here alone without inner perspective.

When I take this unseen into the feelings of the anxiousness and stress it brings in some calmness. This is where I can join mindfulness meditation and guidance. This is my perspective of allowing in some self awareness of the present and also connect to what is available for my inner knowing and a calmer way of navigating the here and now. A practice of mindfulness is exactly that for me, practice. It needs to be practices not just as a mediation but throughout the day of being mindful and not skipping and leaping ahead to the chaotic thoughts of the steps ahead, the to-do-list getting out of control or the diary full of overwhelming actions if clumped together. Mindfulness has been a way first to recover and establish some sense of calm. Making time and space for myself is difficult and don’t get me wrong there are days when life gets busy. A practice of meditation is a routine, as necessary as brushing my teeth, to cultivate a living “Way” of being in meditation and prayer, lets not leave that out either. For me prayer has come after years of meditation, the hearing of my body, my spirit, I completely forgot about the asking part of spirituality. It is hard to conceive a spiritual based life practice without acknowledging prayer. After all if all I do is listening and not talking, I am hardly going to have my needs met! I don’t mean that by asking I am going to get something but in relationship to spirit and the Guardian I mentioned, if all I do is listen then I am on the outside of this relationship to myself.

Whether you agree or not to the concept of a spiritual life, in the believe of spirit, living energy, consider yourself as spiritual being for a second. If all we do is listen , we do not have a two way conversation, we are only present half the time. For me the act of both listening and speak had come at a cost. I was always the keen helper, I am a nurse by trade. It was in my coding to be the willing helper, but after my stress and anxiety lessons I now develop and grow my own voice within my Way of Being. My stress is lessened when I am seen, heard and witnessed. By this exchange of inter-communication with myself with others if feels there is more of a balance in communication. We all have stresses and for me some of the stresses are from giving and not receiving from myself. Sometimes I do tasks that I just don’t feel up to doing, for others and for myself. So when this happens my self talk has to ask directly, “what is it you really want to do?” establishing some positive self talk can negotiate some boundaries and solutions for myself.

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Let’s Talk About Stress

APR 7, 2021 AT 4:00 PMLet’s Talk About Stress

Cycle awareness has given me personal insights into my body, my emotions, my functionality as a woman. For example, as I ovulate on day 10 not the stated day 13.  I have a menstrual cycle of 30 days. Day 2 of my period is heavy and the days after this are noticeably lighter. I do have premenstrual stress and I would say I have had PME (Pre-menstrual Exhaustion) and PMDD (pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder) in some cycles, but not all.
Feeling tired and sensitive is also a chemical response to the peak in progesterone which is an outward sign of the inner necessity for my space. The holistic practitioner in me brings forwards the tools for self-reflection, morning pages, self-reflexology, self-massage, aromatherapy and meditation. Failing my self-care has me recognising these signs,
· Neck tension
· Aversions
· Needing solitude
· Hypersensitivity
· Tiredness
· Sleeping in the day and napping (although, essential)
· Lower backache
· Painful thumbs
· Hot and cold and both together
How the brain sees stress
I think of the womb as the brain. It remembers, it also needs to clear trauma, negative situations and dramas that have occurred. When we consider the corpus luteum and its development, it has been maturing as a dominant follicle and has been in development for the cycle. The womb (and by the womb I mean all our female structures, ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus or womb, the cervix, vagina and vulva), our female anatomy transforms and configures in a cycle.  It rises and it releases, it needs time to release, process just as much as the stress in our heads. The body has a way of storing dates, anniversaries and even if we do not remember an event from the past, sometimes the body will. Regular releasing as a ritual at the menstrual phase helps us along in life. The ancestors of our past knew the importance of such rites of passage. Rituals do not have to be elaborate or ancient, but by all means go ahead, they can also be as modern and easy as you like. From a ceremonial old jumper for your days of comfort when you get home to lighting a candle for your time on the sofa with a cup of tea. As long as you recognise the significance, that it is all about you and your time.
I am aware that cumulative stress is a factor in stress responses as well as hereditary and childhood circumstances. We all can cope with stress as a response, but repeated episodes can develop into anxiety.  I had several episodes of stressful events in a short period of time. This led to panic attacks and trauma responses effecting my day to day. I did seek help from professionals as well as private practitioners, a hypnotherapist for EMDR, reiki practitioners and mediation groups. I found that the most affective approaches where ones that allowed me to express by responses and not the ones where I needed to consider the re-enactment of the events. Trigger responses are real, and the anxiety the body remembers is a reaction. Listening and witnessing are great stress reducers I find, a group of great active listeners, and self-care all are very conducive to a reduction in the stress responses.
It was when I entered perimenopause, I found the stress returned on a sliding scale from PMS (pre-menstrual stress) to premenstrual exhaustion to premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I needed to take another look at trauma responses and how this was isolated to my autumn phase. My thoughts needed to be addressed as I could identify negative thought through my mind. I began a practice called morning pages. This is where I sit and write all the thoughts onto paper. All those thoughts at a rapid rate get marked down so they do not continue to circle around in my head. This could be shopping lists, negative self-talk to past and reoccurring thoughts. Writing it all down allowed me to witness the thoughts, see them and then stop the recurring cycling of them. I was able to then quiet the mind and settle into some relaxation. All this was occurring within an hour of waking up.
Throughout the day I had alerts on my phone with positive affirmations, I would eat more frequently, and supplement my body with healthy foods, lots of water and herbal teas. I was basically putting my needs first not last. I need to have reminders throughout this phase that I was a sovereign state and no one or no-thing could pass without permission. Some months my needs and territory are more amplified that others.
For me groups support, along with self-care are long term practices. Sometimes a breathing meditation works better than a yoga class due to how tired I feel. Other days I like the get outside in nature and do some physical exercise. Having a range of useful practices means I can vary them according to how I feel. Considering we are extremely sensitive at this time in all ways it is worth addressing individual needs relating to our senses. Both as a way of nurturing and how we sense all things around us at this time.

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The Pain of Anxiety

Anxiety has lived with me for many years. I have read a mountain of books on the subject from psychology, self help to spirituality and akashic records. As well as a Master’s degree in CBT I started but didn’t finish.

The emotions of anxiety include emotional pain. The pain of being stuck in a holding of “I can’t”. ” I can’t tell them how I feel, I can’t express myself enough, I can’t put myself up for that speech and so I can’t do that job”. These were not feelings brought about by others they were limitations of myself. I felt held and stuck and in pain. The moment I felt a change was when I took a small step. “I can’t  do the speech in front of so many people, but what if I took one small step towards speaking up. I can’t be heard in the team but what can I do to establish my boundaries”. Small steps to the land of becoming created a small success in belonging. In my own way I  experimented with challenge (with some anxiety) and saw success of achieving movement out from within the pain.

The phrase you can’t eat an elephant in one go was my mantra. What smaller steps can I make? In the words of Sandra Ingerman, “taking small steps to climb a mountain will get you there just as surely as taking giant leaps. And the steps will also allow you to climb the mountain consciously as well as in your comfort range, keeping you in a state of balance and harmony” (Soul Retrieval 2011).

For me, the smaller steps were still challenging but manageable, they also required  marking, like a reward to celebrate a new threshold reached. Celebrating myself for making the steps, however small where all part of the bigger journey. Marking these achievements was key as well as repetition. The advantage I see is that repeating the small steps creates a new perspective, a new development, a new wider comfort zone. And so the repetition becomes a habit and a routine from a new challenging moment some time ago. It gives me time to focus, refocus and repeat and do-over and so the competency develops into a competent confident skill. Small steps can be seen as wise steps where a repeating pattern creates comfort as well as individuality in the endeavour just like water wearing its way over rock to carve isn’t own way forwards. It may be a slow process but it becomes a less messy one. Nature shows us over and over that repetition creates growth. Think of that old oak tree every year discarding its leaves and reaching higher with new branches.

Rushing towards goals still has me sliding into the pain of anxiety. Knowing myself, within a relationship to myself, is also about knowing how I relate to my natural way of being in this life. It has also cultivated a compassionate approach to others and how anxiety feels when it is outside in the cold causing stagnancy and misunderstandings in all areas of life and relationships. Bringing anxiety into the inner circle of a compassionate relationship has become a way of reconnecting and understanding pain. Pain is not just a physical symptom, it is also emotional.


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She of a thousand stars

I am She of a thousand stars above

and smooth wind upon the brow

I am She who adores you with kisses upon that brow

I am She who rushes like the waves to meet your feet

upon the shores of your dearest tidings

I am within the night of the dream weaver

and in the days of sadness upon your tear soaked cheeks

I am in your thoughts as you tend to your loving cares

I am in your remembrance of friendships that feel joy to you

I am that bridge of the Heart from you to another

I am within and outside of your Heart

I am the connection from your eyes, your thoughts, your touch of hand

and hand on Heart

I go with you into the darkest places you may be sent

I walk by your hand brushing upon mine

Just grasp my soft fingers when you are needing steadying

I will carry you wholly across that threshold

into the door of it surrounded by my Love for you

I am She of a thousand stars

I am here for You


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Favourite Things

#myfavouritethings
This is #larvikite. It is a Norwegian Felspar crystal that I have used for years in my meditations. It connects to the earth energies as perceived through the third eye. So the energy of earth is seen as part of the greater Cosmos. It is said to aid in  meditation with the  astral realm, promote a deep sense of calm and detox in the nervous system. Like other black crystals it dispels negativity and has a protective quality. For me it is a good crystal alley for root and third eye meditations. Enjoy the ride!
#guidance #intuitive #spiritualcoaching #crystal #crystalloversofinstagram


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Blade of Light

Lemurian Blade of Light

This is my new Blade of Light Lemurian Quartz Crystal. At this angle you can see the coding lines, the horizontal lines in the quartz. It is also a pure clear crystal. It clears brain fog, lethergy and in meditation can bring clear solutions and decisions. Physically it aids in removing blockages. On days when it is all a bit too much it re-energizes and motivates me.
#bladeoflightlemurian #crystalhealer #crystalloversofinstagram #Lemurians #lovemyrocks❤


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Women of Change

Blessings

I pray to the Grandmothers, the Mothers
The Sisters and Daughters
I pray to the Changemakers, the Songmakers,
And the Homemakers
I pray to the Winds of Movement
The Rivers of Guardians
The Earth Lovers
And the Fire Warriors
I pray for Change


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Dirt, Decay and the Dream

When dirt and decay become a master piece of my hands

when the ending of a cycle is just a resting into the not yet started

like the night is not yet a dawn

and the dream has finished and the waking state is not begun

the in between, the vision and the arising……

when dirt is just dirt and the seeds are not yet sprung

when dirt is the life within my hands

and the dream in one


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Path Awareness

You know you are on the right path when the woman on the checkout in the supermarket suddenly ask you about menopause!
Then the woman behind at checkout joins in!!!! Talking Menopause mouth and vag mucous membranes at the checkout!