Medicinalmeadows

the place within…..


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Red Tent Quest

The last twelve months I have been travelling with the Red Tent Collective into Birth Doula Training. I have sat in circle with the most amazing women, reading a stack of books, walking on and off the path to weave amongst the mystical ways of birth and cyclicity of menstruation and menopause. I am on a mission, the way of being woman, with all of this heightened awareness. I am seeing what is missing in society for women, health and equilibrium.

Some blog posts ago I was writing about Belonging to land space and place and this year I have come full circle to the place within. What a synchronicity….the place within. To me this equilibrium is the sense of calmness, where ever I Am, the Belonging is within. It is a deep rooted sense of assurity that no matter what I am rooted in the moment. It is the heart beat and the alignment to a feeling, not a place.

How did I get to Here? I got to this place of assurity from sitting in Circle with others, from a community of people who can sit and listen with total acceptance. By that I mean a listening circle, a circle gathering of others who have capacity of Heart to Hear. When we Hear and do not fixed, when we can Speak and are not held back, when we are Witnessed and not judged, we are Accepted. Total acceptance creates a feeling of Belonging to Self.

I will continue to blog more about my journey of Womenhood as my Path unfolds. For now, I leave you with a Womb Blessing, naturally spontaneous and unedited.


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Sounds of the Sea

A moment spent by the sea can calm all the cells, water by water. We develop within the rhythm of water. No wonder the sound of water resonates deep within every part of me, even those places that are tucked away, hidden and protected.
“Deep peace of the running wave to You” (Celtic prayer).


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Summer’s Thunder Full Moon

I had a very serene evening out at the beach yesterday. I visited the Woods near the streams that flow to Abbey Ruins. Then followed as much as I could, the river to the coast. I headed to a sandy beach and it was quiet, so peaceful. I felt very anchored as I felt into the energies. There was a deep Celtic vibe to note all the elements and the breeze got up strong and cool. I blended in.

I managed to drum for a while, the wind had got up and it felt strong to be so met by such a force whilst the sand was so soft under my feet. I left a blessing of my dried lavender and rose petals. I was then amazed to find many hag stones as I made my way back. I usually struggle to find one! I felt totally cleansed and a message to honour the old that meets the new. I headed home over the country lanes and passed the Celtic cross by the Castle. I get lost a little on the lanes but this detour felt perfect.


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Heart Desires

Taking time out this month has been a real blessing. I have still had commitments and routine to uphold but I have take time for some loving self-care and compassion. I have attended to some simple pleasures that had fallen away from my awareness. This morning I stood listening to the pleasing sound of the bumblebees on the borage. They squeak and busy themselves on the flowers. Then there is my cat, Raffi out all night and cosy sleeping in the chair opposite my desk. What are those simple pleasures that satisfy the soul? What is it your heart desires as Mother Divine would ask? Where and what do I wish to align myself? Such a simple question. What is it your heart desires?
#guidance #intuitive #spiritualcoaching #motherearth #motherdivine #bees #gardener #soulgardening #borage #energyalignment #energymedicine #reikipractitioner #spiritualpractitioner #mariandevotee


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Self Love

Self-care is not a luxury, it is a necessity. It needs carving into the everyday. As ritual becomes daily practice we see that we are worthy, and we have needs to be met within the day as much as any other person around us. One question I ask is, what have I done of service today? And what have I done for myself? If the scales here are not so balanced then it is time for some self-care. I love to go for a walk by myself in nature. I notice that I walk mindfully when I walk alone. I walk slower and take in my environment. I hear, I see and I witness far more when I walk on my own. But are we ever alone? By that I mean to walking and witnessing animism in the everyday. This is to be in reverence that “Animism (from Latin: anima, ‘breath, spirit, life‘)[1][2] is the belief that objects, places, and creatures all possess a distinct spiritual essence.[3][4][5][6] Potentially, animism perceives all things—animals, plants, rocks, rivers, weather systems, human handiwork, and perhaps even words—as animated and alive” (Wikipedia). Taking this view into account the things we self create, the small craft projects crystal bead bracelets that make me go into that no-mind space, are those distinctly spiritual act of communion with the self and the world round us. From the herbal teas we make, ceremonially, to a ritual of washing my feet, a daily cleansing ritual, aromatherapy oils and the best homemade foot cream.

So what are your self care rituals? What makes you feel cared for? What small acts of love do you gift to yourself?

When we talk about self-care and conception this is where a full spectrum of physical health, as well as emotion, environmental and intentional routines are put into the daily care.

For the full article on health and conception, self care rituals and full moon releasing take a look at the Red Tent Patreon Page, for this month only the newsletter is FREE. This is a GIFT from me to YOU. It is Published on the 7th June 4pm

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Land Healing

A year ago…   I remember going to this place after I had sat in circle chanting Akal Maha Kal ,Akal means undying, Maha means great, and Kal means death. The undying and the great death are actually one; the mantra removes anxiety. It felt like a spiritual procession to go to this place a previous industrial site, with this chant in my mind. A great presence was felt for the steel workers of industry, the losses of loved ones to this land, my ancestors and the land itself. Land healing is just as necessary as healing to our-human-selves.

So a year later and the land was calling again. In circle on Monday last week we were pulled back into the timeline of haematite, iron ore and land healing. I am aware of the the body having it’s own reflective calendar that remembers situations and episodes in life, and with the added help of technology and google images alerts to “a year ago today”, this had all resurfaced in my place of being.

The messages and the threads of history had me on a path of land history. What is it about the land that needs healing? is it the unearthing of materials that is sacred, is consent an issue on the land? What is Haematite and where did the transportation of the Haematite Steel company end up in other parts of the world?

In the 1740s Furness was already transporting iron ore to Wales and the Midlands by boat to smelting works. In 1866 the Haematitie steel works was formed and by 1876 it was the largest iron and steelworks in the world. The Barrow works mass produced for railway lines and exported all over the globe. Furness Haematite is probably deposited all over the earth (Wikipedia)

So what is haematite? it is classed as an oxide in can be black and steel grey in colour to a reddish brown. It has a metallic sheen and it is classed as the important ore in iron, making up abut 70% iron and 30% oxygen. Historically the word comes from haimatites (Greek) meaning blood red and it is the liquid uses for primitive cave paintings dating back to 40,000 years ago. In the renaissance period is was used to mix paints to fix colours. And from the 1700s used for industry for steel manufacturing. Once an art related material turned industrial compound. Haematite is said to be present on Mars, as NASA have discovered the abundance of this mineral on the surface (https://geology.com)

Today we are probably most familiar with Haematite as a crystal, a healing stone. It is described as a grounding stone for the base chakra bringing courage, confidence and stability. It is believed to be protective and balancing stone boosting self worth. It is formed from “weathered environments” including wet and dry seasons (http://virtual-museaum). Having research this crystal a little more I am conflicted with its modern day description in the crystal world as a calming and cooling crystal for clarity of mind, when it has prominent links to Mars, the God of War, and the energies of

  • fire
  • gravity
  • desire
  • leadership
  • strength

But maybe we need a little warrior energy and the haematite has a place that runs deeper in my psyche now that I have an understanding of this mineral, this crystal, in my own belonging to land, place and space. This is the crystal of my recent ancestors who worked on this land. They worked at the iron works, in the steel works and in shipbuilding. This mineral brought my ancestors here for work from Scotland, Ireland and the West Midlands. I am a second generation settler in this place and this land is responsible for my upbringing, my parents birth place, their accents, vernacular, traditions and rituals both lost and altered in emigration.

The metaphysical properties we know in the crystal world of haematite are;

  • protection
  • courage
  • bravery
  • self-confidence

I have no doubt that the above descriptions are characteristics of my ancestors who travelled to live in a new town, a new industry and build a new life. This crystal of haematite is certainly bring me to a new and unique understanding of the mineral I have carried in my pocket, used as jewellery and now the relationship to my ancestors.

What crystals are within your own family tree?

What minerals are present underneath your feet?

What land healing do you feel called to do?

Is there alchemy in your land, place and space?

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A Thousand Seeds of Light

She lasted longer in the shadows than she could remember

The time had passed for her to remain silent. The need to recoil under the oak had been and gone

But now at last she was open she just waited for wind to fly her on

So she waited in the sun but the wind never blow. So she waited for a while longer in the sun’s strength the light allowed her radiance too

So she waited but no longer in the shadows. And sure enough the winds came and she flow along

With the wind she was opened to a thousand seeds of light. So now she dances wild untamed so free and new


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The Conscious Gardener

Today has been a time to reflect, rewind and recharge, a Happy Sunday.
The conscious gardener has been a message arising to look closely at what is growing. To discern the things coming together and building the future. It has been a time to reflect on what is growing, what is needed, what was planted and what has out grown. To tend to the weeds not required and focus, align and streamline the things I wish to grow and nurture. How does your garden grow?
#guidance #intuitive #spiritualcoaching #bluebells #meditation #mindfulness #gardening #meadowflowers #mayfield #wildflowers


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Conception of Guidance

Conception of Guidance

In the free dictionary the word Conceive means to“ form a mental image of something “. We must conceive of a multitude of things in a lifetime. We conceive ideas, plans, and processes. We also conceive all our thoughts and emotions. And so this leads me to consider that I have conceive myself to be anxious. This is a prospect I am learning to come to terms with. If allowing myself to feel anxious, when I am not in any imminent danger, I am robbing myself of inner peace? Could I be feeling free of anxiety? I have been on a spiritual journey since childhood. I grew up in fields and amongst the tress in a small rural area. I was aware of the spirit of the land and nature from a young age. A counsellor once called me a feral child having had no adult influential learning to model discernment for boundaries. Maybe she was right, but in recent times I have come to the realisation that boundaries are not always cultivated by adults around us in our informative years. Then there is the spiritual path, the awareness of the otherly, the unseen, the imaginal, that can actually provide a level of awareness of boundaries.

My perspective is that we all have a Guardian, a spiritual guide and when we allow, really surrender and allow the connection then the guidance is quite profound and present in the everyday. Many shamanic teachers describe an awareness within dimensions of the underworld, the middle-world and the upper-world. The middle-world being the here and now. Whether we identify with a physical knowing, a third eye inner vision of knowing or a deep listening to higher knowing, this is the guidance of the Guardian or Guide. When we have deep faith in this connection and relationship that is when the boundaries of the unseen can come to give discernment and assistance in this middle-world. Many spiritual paths have this unseen understanding, whether we call it the Nous like the Teachings of Mary Magdalene, the Spirit Guide, or the Guardian, the names are not so important as the faith that we are not navigating life here alone without inner perspective.

When I take this unseen into the feelings of the anxiousness and stress it brings in some calmness. This is where I can join mindfulness meditation and guidance. This is my perspective of allowing in some self awareness of the present and also connect to what is available for my inner knowing and a calmer way of navigating the here and now. A practice of mindfulness is exactly that for me, practice. It needs to be practices not just as a mediation but throughout the day of being mindful and not skipping and leaping ahead to the chaotic thoughts of the steps ahead, the to-do-list getting out of control or the diary full of overwhelming actions if clumped together. Mindfulness has been a way first to recover and establish some sense of calm. Making time and space for myself is difficult and don’t get me wrong there are days when life gets busy. A practice of meditation is a routine, as necessary as brushing my teeth, to cultivate a living “Way” of being in meditation and prayer, lets not leave that out either. For me prayer has come after years of meditation, the hearing of my body, my spirit, I completely forgot about the asking part of spirituality. It is hard to conceive a spiritual based life practice without acknowledging prayer. After all if all I do is listening and not talking, I am hardly going to have my needs met! I don’t mean that by asking I am going to get something but in relationship to spirit and the Guardian I mentioned, if all I do is listen then I am on the outside of this relationship to myself.

Whether you agree or not to the concept of a spiritual life, in the believe of spirit, living energy, consider yourself as spiritual being for a second. If all we do is listen , we do not have a two way conversation, we are only present half the time. For me the act of both listening and speak had come at a cost. I was always the keen helper, I am a nurse by trade. It was in my coding to be the willing helper, but after my stress and anxiety lessons I now develop and grow my own voice within my Way of Being. My stress is lessened when I am seen, heard and witnessed. By this exchange of inter-communication with myself with others if feels there is more of a balance in communication. We all have stresses and for me some of the stresses are from giving and not receiving from myself. Sometimes I do tasks that I just don’t feel up to doing, for others and for myself. So when this happens my self talk has to ask directly, “what is it you really want to do?” establishing some positive self talk can negotiate some boundaries and solutions for myself.

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Let’s Talk About Stress

APR 7, 2021 AT 4:00 PMLet’s Talk About Stress

Cycle awareness has given me personal insights into my body, my emotions, my functionality as a woman. For example, as I ovulate on day 10 not the stated day 13.  I have a menstrual cycle of 30 days. Day 2 of my period is heavy and the days after this are noticeably lighter. I do have premenstrual stress and I would say I have had PME (Pre-menstrual Exhaustion) and PMDD (pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder) in some cycles, but not all.
Feeling tired and sensitive is also a chemical response to the peak in progesterone which is an outward sign of the inner necessity for my space. The holistic practitioner in me brings forwards the tools for self-reflection, morning pages, self-reflexology, self-massage, aromatherapy and meditation. Failing my self-care has me recognising these signs,
· Neck tension
· Aversions
· Needing solitude
· Hypersensitivity
· Tiredness
· Sleeping in the day and napping (although, essential)
· Lower backache
· Painful thumbs
· Hot and cold and both together
How the brain sees stress
I think of the womb as the brain. It remembers, it also needs to clear trauma, negative situations and dramas that have occurred. When we consider the corpus luteum and its development, it has been maturing as a dominant follicle and has been in development for the cycle. The womb (and by the womb I mean all our female structures, ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus or womb, the cervix, vagina and vulva), our female anatomy transforms and configures in a cycle.  It rises and it releases, it needs time to release, process just as much as the stress in our heads. The body has a way of storing dates, anniversaries and even if we do not remember an event from the past, sometimes the body will. Regular releasing as a ritual at the menstrual phase helps us along in life. The ancestors of our past knew the importance of such rites of passage. Rituals do not have to be elaborate or ancient, but by all means go ahead, they can also be as modern and easy as you like. From a ceremonial old jumper for your days of comfort when you get home to lighting a candle for your time on the sofa with a cup of tea. As long as you recognise the significance, that it is all about you and your time.
I am aware that cumulative stress is a factor in stress responses as well as hereditary and childhood circumstances. We all can cope with stress as a response, but repeated episodes can develop into anxiety.  I had several episodes of stressful events in a short period of time. This led to panic attacks and trauma responses effecting my day to day. I did seek help from professionals as well as private practitioners, a hypnotherapist for EMDR, reiki practitioners and mediation groups. I found that the most affective approaches where ones that allowed me to express by responses and not the ones where I needed to consider the re-enactment of the events. Trigger responses are real, and the anxiety the body remembers is a reaction. Listening and witnessing are great stress reducers I find, a group of great active listeners, and self-care all are very conducive to a reduction in the stress responses.
It was when I entered perimenopause, I found the stress returned on a sliding scale from PMS (pre-menstrual stress) to premenstrual exhaustion to premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I needed to take another look at trauma responses and how this was isolated to my autumn phase. My thoughts needed to be addressed as I could identify negative thought through my mind. I began a practice called morning pages. This is where I sit and write all the thoughts onto paper. All those thoughts at a rapid rate get marked down so they do not continue to circle around in my head. This could be shopping lists, negative self-talk to past and reoccurring thoughts. Writing it all down allowed me to witness the thoughts, see them and then stop the recurring cycling of them. I was able to then quiet the mind and settle into some relaxation. All this was occurring within an hour of waking up.
Throughout the day I had alerts on my phone with positive affirmations, I would eat more frequently, and supplement my body with healthy foods, lots of water and herbal teas. I was basically putting my needs first not last. I need to have reminders throughout this phase that I was a sovereign state and no one or no-thing could pass without permission. Some months my needs and territory are more amplified that others.
For me groups support, along with self-care are long term practices. Sometimes a breathing meditation works better than a yoga class due to how tired I feel. Other days I like the get outside in nature and do some physical exercise. Having a range of useful practices means I can vary them according to how I feel. Considering we are extremely sensitive at this time in all ways it is worth addressing individual needs relating to our senses. Both as a way of nurturing and how we sense all things around us at this time.

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