Medicinalmeadows

THE PLACE WITHIN


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The Quest Beetham Church of St. Michael and All Angels

Part 2- Story of the Knight’s journey up the coastline of Cumbria

The ceremony lacked the expected level of union for his liking. Godfrei felt depleted in the effort to give their companion and teacher due solemnity and observed rites of parity. He could sense the weight of disappointment.

The Chapel now felt empty. It might have been fatigue, or the grief that hit them so unexpectedly. They wouldn’t have been surprised if their elder had passed away in his sleep in Spain, but he had regained his strength and resolve before their last voyage, determined to lead them to deliver their charge.

The brother of this chapel stepped forward, they could not linger here. The all-night rituals had been conducted at the expense of rest and nourishment. It was now time to depart. The brethren spent the entire night coordinating their plans with the changing tides. The brothers, overwhelmed and jaded, agreed to trust their long-held friendship with the villagers. Other boats awaited to take them a short journey up the coast then inland, so they pressed on to Beetham.

The Lord of the Mosses received notification yesterday and subsequently prepared the new resting place under his protection. Although the Church was cold and damp, the setting sun streamed through the high windows. Provisions, including food, wine, and bedding, were offered and a safe place to pray before they rested.

The lay sisters convened to perform the Liturgy of the Hours, as they prayed and rested. They remained cognizant of the villagers’ efforts of heightened security surrounded by daily activities. The reasons for these measures begged further inquiry, but the hymns soothed their tiredness to sleep.

When Godfrei awoke from his bedding mat on the ground he felt inspired by his brothers’ actions. He saw two of them praying in the Lady chapel and decided to join them. He seemed to drift easily into the liminal space of Sanctuary. The singing of the sisters, the soft light of the candles, the sweet smell of the cooked loaf and the warmth of his new clothes lulled him inwards.

Word finally came in the evening light. A soft rap on the wooden door, then voices, stirred him from the cushion on the chapel floor. Had he drifted back into sleep? No, he had gained his direction from his curled position, but it was not sleep. He had finally been able to rest, eat, and gain enough strength to enter the realm of guidance.

He got up and approached the doorway, dubiously not from fear but the strangeness of the light. He knew before he entered in the conversation, passage north was possible. But the conversation brought more difficulties to the journey ahead. Dacre’s man had brought word.  Safety for their vessels was always paramount and raiders where in the waters around the coastline. The route was now over land.  They were so close to the Abbey, but this meant the Abbey was also at risk.

The delay now appeared intentional.  The death of their Elder, the overnight Rituals, the stay at the church were all keeping them hidden from the coastal route. All these delays were divinely guided.

This was the very quest undertaken by their predecessors, and now it was their turn.

St. Michael and All Angels Beetham Church

The church is on the south border of Cumbria into Lancashire just off the A6 at Milnthorpe. The tower is an old Anglo-Saxon structure, with extended church aisles dating from the 12th century and full restorations in the 18oos. There are many interesting features to the exterior including a sundial to the right of the priest’s doorway.

The church was first dedicated to Saint Lioba, the 7th century Benedictine nun from Wessex. The daughter of a noble family and related to St. Boniface. She was educated at Wimborne Minster, probably skilled in the fine ornamenting of scriptures and needlework that created the embroidery of wall hangings of Europe’s great houses. She is well known in Germany as an Abbess in the convents of St. Boniface. She was known to frequent the royal courts of Charlemagne and to have performed miracles. Miracles that the Monk Rudolf of Fulda claimed continued to work from her grave tomb.(Wikipedia). I found the anchoress’s cell up the road from the church the most honourable dedication to one of England’s saints the most precious sight in our times. The stain glass windows within the church depict Lioba with Wessex royal Saints Ethelburga. She was the 7th century daughter of King Æthelberht of Kent and Queen Bertha. In 625, she married Edwin of Northumbria as his second wife. A condition of their marriage was Edwin’s conversion to Christianity. Here she is pictured also with Saint Osyth. She was born in Quarrendon in Buckinghamshire. Her father was Frithwald a Mercian sub-king of Surrey and her mother was Wilburga, daughter of King Penda of Mercia.

The stain glass windows to early Christian saints are delightful in the church. They are full of vibrant colour and contain the apostles including Mary Magdalene.

There are fragments of medieval glass in the Lady Chapel. These depict King Henry IV, fragments of Christ the King, coats of arms thought of the Stanley family, who were given lands of Westmorland, including Beetham, after the Battle of Bosworth.

(thanks to the websites of Beetham Church and Wikipedia)


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Destination

May we be courageous enough

to turn our feet towards Death.

Let that path lead us to our heart’s desire

with a sense of walking home to ourselves,

to our destiny, our wisdom

and our fulfilment

within this lifetime

This path to death is the death walk that disrobes us from our layers of injustice, inadequate circumstances that degrades and contains. The path towards death releases the chains and ties that has held us with the imaginal trapped inside a world that looks for love instead of being Love.

The walk is for the ones who can let down the terms and conditions and surrender to the promises of nothing, but receives everything from one act of turning. And sees the path behind and allows it to remain as it is, without revisiting, without another step towards it.

The path of death is seeing death in life, amongst the living, and feeling the dissolution of ties to the heart fall away, to allow the doors of death to appear. These doors are not the end , they hold at first a grief, for what has been, but they are now the destination.

The destination of death is the future. The future of what can be, which feels empty, but this is a life that is the differences to still be filled. It lies currently with spaciousness of sky, expanse of earth, and relationships to be desired and loved. In this one in breath death appears like an hourglass. The above is still full, the below is foundation and the point in-between is the present. And the present is spiralling. Spiralling into current existence. Here we are, here we stand and the path towards death is full.

As we face the spiral life is still falling into the face of our existence. Life is flowing into you right now and in each, present, moment. The sand beneath our feet is just the foundation that constantly holds us up higher towards the life that is to come, of infinite moments.

Image by Canva


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The Sacred No

Do you remember a time when you were absolutely raging. Like you completed hit boiling point and a full on deluge poured and a bit of spit came out of your mouth?

Now imagine that boiling point in front of the folk that your Mam knows, the neighbours and family of all ages, including your peers from work and your friends next door. Imagine that amount of visibility.

There’s a  passage written that speaks to that amount of breaking. Here I wish to speak into that description, of that scene, but with volume. I want you to imagine the sound. Imagine the inner crumbling of the contained composure in a very public, the most public place possible, the sacred place within the heart, the mind and the entire shaking and trembling body parts. The heart would be pounding, sight distorted, and sweat would be stinking over the back, as well as pouring over the face to further intoxicate, from the top of the head to the feet below. The outer world would be ablaze with a piercing din. The atmospheric pitch would be ringing throughout the place from the shattering volume of pottery and metal smashing on the stone floor.  The high ringing would ricochet off the walls and back and forth disorientating the inner ears time after time after time, in a never ending dissonance and then the roar from the people in disarray. Human voices adding into the overwhelm of discord, aggression and shock of what is a crucial breakdown of order, and decorum.

My thoughts here are to provide a description of the noise, the internal and external breaking open to bring forth a sacred No. When boundaries have been crossed into the personal, the sacred inner temple of ones heart, when Love has been trampled on, repeatedly, we have this internal roar that can not be melted away but is brought forth to crack us open. This sacred moment, is as ugly and sullied as it sounds. It brings a clear and creative moment that unblocks the clenching emotions to the ignorant to reform the imposed and repressed moment.

Sometimes the thundering clatter of a Holy No is necessary. Because the edge of our being can not be crossed over and over to the detriment of our hearts, our minds, spirit and biology, yes our biology!

When I consider my boundaries are just like the cells inside of me, the membrane that has the most wonderful, discernible boundary that is at work day and night, I remember my physiology is the most sacred thing I can have here on earth. My humanness is showing me since the day I was conceived, my boundaries are charged with a sacred no and a sacred yes. This inner working has the most helpful insights. When I say yes and when I exercise a worthy No, my body responds, my mind responds, if the boundary is broken, repeatedly, the most sacred act I can do for myself is to sound louder and louder until it is heard.

Until I Am Heard.


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Prayer Intentions

In my connections I am hearing a need for prayer. I am aware of the pull for spring, of dreaming and yearning for life from behind the walls of winter. This yearning I feel is an invitation to reflect on the root of our desires for seeding our intentions.

What is it we are all praying for? In recent weeks I have received messages asking for me to pray. This is a beautiful request and with it some perplexity, as I am a novice, not a fully formed anchoress in the orchestration of a prayer intention. Maybe it is the repeated practice of #sundaynightcandlelight on my social media @medicinalmeadows and Instagram @janice_bridginglight that sees me in the light of Abbess of this hashtag. This practice of contemplative prayer first began in the days of great need for prayer in 2020 and now continues into 2024.

My inquiry is, what is needed to formulate a prayer intention? The requests I have received in recent weeks are for prayers for loved ones, prayers for healing, prayers for times ahead. It seems our desire is to chiseling out a verse of prose, to write the prayer with poetic roots that soothe the deepest need to be aired into life. Seeds to root, to spring forth, require wording, the spelling is intentional.

So how do I create a prayer that has roots and strength of meaning for me? I have a need to be on point, truthful and reflective. This piece of artistic composition has a need to convey momentum that sends my request into the unseen, cosmology, in the fullness of Light.

The formulation came to me today as a sudden inspired idea that the scribing of the prayer lies with this, it comes from a need. The need for ease, for comfort, the need is the key. The same need for comfort, for ease, peace of mind also applies for a desire for a new car! You see this morning on this misty start, the light came through and it occurred to me that the intention for the prayer Is the need. The pure intention lies atthe root of the prayer, this is where the composition can begin. As we identify the need, the intention take on a matrix from our singular need to the collective needs, to make “our life, our will as one” (Lord’s Prayer, Rev Dale Allen Hofffman). As we pray for our earthly need whatever that need is, material or ethereal, the transcendence of the prayer translates from the core need for oneself into a collective need. We are starting wheels of prayer for All. Ease gives us Peace. Peace within us creates a ripple of Peace around us.

So my reflection for today on prayer and intention is rooted in the realisation that when we pray for our own intention we are also rippling that desired outcome to the All, to everyone. No matter what the prayer, it is rooted in a Need.

The words and the creation of this poetic intention are first seeded with a need. “I have a need for” are the words of the Ongo Practice and the Needs Wheel (Ongo book by Cadden and Wien) that can assist in finding the heart’s desire. The root of the prayer creates a blessing, first for me and for you and then the prayer carries the intention to the All of creation.

Take a took at the Needs Wheel and feel into the words that come to you as a blessing for your life, “I have a Need for….”

Here is my prayer for myself today,

“Dear God of the Universe, I pray for rest after times of challenge and grief. I have a need for ease, for nurturance and love right now. Please create a container of ease for me today, Amen.”

I pray that your needs become seeds

planted in fertile soil

that welcomes the rain, as well as the sun

that your seeds of desire

grow strong, rooted, full blossoming

created for One and for All

I


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Embodiment of the Menopausal Mystic

Artwork by Lisbeth Cheever-Gessaman @shewhois

Lately I have been trying to extrapolate the words that describe overwhelm, anxiety and exhaustion. This all weaves into my 50 life as menopause. But on a deeper exploration, these words that are often spelled-out towards me just seem to be off centre. You know, like an arrow shooting off to the side…that sense of not landing!

You see I had what I will call an overspilling of tears last week and I didn’t feel anxious beforehand, or let me put it a bit more accurately, I didn’t think anxious thoughts, I didn’t have worries in my mind. What happened was a bodily response to the situation I was in. It was biological not mental or emotional stress I was experiencing. I was embodying a sense, not thinking one.

This overspilling today has circled me back round to the 50 life. And here is my story for today. My body is experiencing a 50 year old life, my biology is taking me on a journey exploring the world with a new perception of the macro and the micro, the inner and the outer field of my soul as I learn from it all.

My biology has danced a wheel of hormones from my teenager years. It has been delighted in summer and been restful in winter. My biology is nature and my cycle is natural. This change takes my exuberance in a proliferative spring like energy and oestrogen productivity into a decline. My body is looking for the spring and summer phase, for the dancing to begin, for the days and nights of energetic pulses to regain a sense desire, excitement and focus. Like long summer nights of activity and the enthusiasm for diving into the pools of that which lights me up.

Today I am sitting with the body longing for the light of my passion. My body may well be grieving the loss of these phases that rise of the oestrogen that gives life to energetic delights.

So where do I now find my oestrogen-like joy? That ecstasy of life when the follicular phases has left. The oestrogen has wanned so where can I find the fullness of the moon without the bright light of the ovum to bring creativity into this world? In my 50th year what am I looking for that has the power and potential of a fertile egg to resurrect my entire being into a new life?

What has this world to offer in the current climate of birthing and creative and weaving together with all those who have sat in life’s journey so far?

What wisdom is missing from a world where creating life is at the core?

Where can I replicate my passion in the winter of age and what appears to be winter of all seasons on earth?


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Express Yourself

This is the cat that lives with us. His name is Raphael, he was about 8 years old when he came to our home. I am very careful with my words here, he is not my cat. You see he came from a loving home and is a bit of a feral character. He is strong very confident and came here with all his ways of being, habits and traits. It has taken a while for us to get into our stream of togetherness as there are little ways he finds his comfort that are his fullness of expression of self.

He likes to take his seat, anywhere! And like all cats, he has different meows and ways of communicating his needs. I feel I am a good listener, so I have been trying to get to know his voice, his sound and his tone. You see, I have been listening, practicing and developing in a listening environment called circle practice over the last 4 years. This goes back to indigenous circle gatherings, and if you think Zoom etiquette is a new thing, think again.

You see there is a way of gathering, of speaking in circle, it is a practice. It is a way that we connect to be heard. We have a speaking voice, and we have the voice of the circle which I will try to explain. You see this is why I have introduced the cat, Raphael. He is a very good example. He has different voices that mean different things and while, I would love to say I know cat language, what I am actually saying is, I listen deeply to the things around what is being communicated. Circle practice is a bit like this, we develop, we tune in, to what is being said, what is spoken and we tune in to what is not said but which is also communicated. By sitting in circle we start to connect in our other senses, our inner perceptions and as well as our physical hearing become attuned. These perceptions come from being completely immersed, in time and space to others and we start to listen to only the person with the talking stick, or the one not muted, on Zoom. We then become totally aware of what they communicate, as well as what they are saying, we listen to their multi-dimensional being. When we become accustomed to this, from circle practice , we have an awareness of the self in relation to the multi-dimensional being in a multi-dimensional space. We empathise, and when we attune to this space of group empathy, we develop a body awareness and we connect to the emotions that are then able to be released through our physical form, so we release.

This releasing is healing, it is healing for ourselves from physically held or blocked emotions and it is healing for the person speaking into the space because they see that they are heard and witnessed and that releases them. This expression first in their words and then in their connection to others and then by feeling in a congruent space and being seen as fully accepted and fully recognised. When we feel that safe space developing we are then able to fully sound, voice, mourn, keen, laugh…..express that feeling, that has been block, and to know it is ok to do so. When it is sounded outside of ourselves, is it released. And here is the thing, the cat Raphael, is able to do that because, he doesn’t give a hoot, about what emotions are going to sound like! The problem is when the mind thinks of all the ways that sound may seem like or squeal like, it gets pushed back, blocked, held and solidified in the body. The cat, doesn’t solidify his voice of discontent, or content, he just does it.

My definition of circle practice is emotional bathing, connecting to my multi-dimensional self.

A remembrance that we are here to connect.

If you like my posts and want to buy me a coffee, you can donate here! thank you for your sharing! may all the flow of the universal bless you!


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The Way

Most of you know I have a prayer practice, a daily routine, a trust in this infinite thing called the unseen. I believe it is an ancient, the first in fact, mystical practice humans used to connect to everything. My belief is that prayer is not a religious practice, or part of an institution, but goes back to an instinct of a higher power and something bigger than ourselves.

My belief comes from my imaginal space that I have known since, well, forever. I remember at school I would be gazing out the window and in my mind I would talk to the vision of the comforting person near me, have a conversation, discuss something bothering me. As I developed a spiritual practice 10 years ago I began to understand that way of seeing. I had been given a key to unlocking the door to the unseen realms around me. But that’s a story for another day. Today I wanted to tell you about my current purpose.

After struggling to build a spiritual practice I have been called to write about my experiences of the spiritual field as I perceive it. My story starts with utter exhaustion and collapse. This instigated my quest for meaning, and I found I already had the key to the door within me. I found that my calling and my career couldn’t compress. I had to leave my nursing career due to exhaustion, the mix of spirituality and energy work and a busy hospital job was too much on my physical health. On my days off I would sleep the whole day, feeling cold and strung out on anxiety. At work I would be witnessing the movements of the unseen helpers and have subtle messages to pass on, but I didn’t know how to convey it all! I guess these days you would call it medical mediumship, but this was then and not now.

I left to build my spiritual practice as a reiki practitioner but struggled to get clients and ended up seeing an advert that took me to the role as reiki practitioner in a hospice. My sense of spiritual guides, my team if you like, were sending me on a path of schooling. When I first walked up the path to the hospice in my imaginal space, my third eye, I was seeing the sphinx with pyramids, from this I knew, my guides were communicating that this experience was a mystery school teaching. During my years at the hospice I witnessed guides, and healers of the imaginal realms. I received insights to healing energies, watched as the energies weaved in relationships, activated teachings and so much more.

The most frequent of the spiritual teachers that came to me was a Pink light describing herself as the Pink Ray. She came overtime, until it was clear She was the Teacher that had lead me to this school. She gradually introduced more about herself. She was first the Pink Light then Pink Ray, describing healers of the old ways in forms of colour energies, such as the blue rays, the pink and green and purple, if you know angelic rays and archangel frequencies you know what I mean. She then gave me a name which sounded like Hannah, which later came in as a very soft “H” to Anna.

The Pink ray introducing herself over time as Anna, was a woman from Christianity that many will recognise as Grandmother of Jesus and Saint Anne. This introduction was just the beginning, I was later introduced to other energies in this realm that are connected to this earth and still wish to be in relationship to healing, “abridging” to those who wish to call on them. I now know them as “The Way” you may know them as Jesus, Mary, Mother Mary, Saint Anne, (to me H-Anna), Mattais, John, Elizabeth, Susannah, Johanna, Salome. More commonly know as the Disciples. I received not only their messages but their images. I began to sketch their faces as they appeared to me, a form of spiritual artwork.

They are present, and they wait to be called, in relationship, in prayer, in healing practices or just for a conversation, they listen…..and they connect.

This is why I have developed a prayer practice because I trust the Christ Light abridging the earth as the Way. If you feel called to talk, they are listening, this talking….I call prayer…


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Earth at my feet, Sky in my mind….

I am She of sound

On this dust and bone of Earth

As the sound plays from nature

The world goes quiet and song plays on

As the world goes quiet

And the song plays on

When you listen …..

When you go beyond the tongue

When you look inward and

See the sound…. does play on

When you look deep into Heart

You hear it…….

Feel the dust and bone at your feet Dear One

Feel under your soles

The Sky above

Let the Earth respond

At your Heart, at your mind

Let the Mind go beyond

Let the Mind go quiet

 And you’ll feel where you belong

With the Earth at your feet

And the Sky at your mind

Let the Earth engulf you

So you know you belong

Within Her now

Let the song play on

Singing the song to you

And see you belong

With the Earth at your feet

The Sky in your mind

And the song in your Heart

Let Yourself be held,

You are right where you belong